Saturday, March 1, 2014

The gift of my sweet baby Brynleigh...

On Feb 26th 2014 I was caught in a bittersweet state and so I let my feelings flow.. But found I was even more grateful than ever that my sweet Brynleigh was in my life...

I debated all day on posting this but decided I needed to... for me. A year ago today I began miscarrying my little tiny baby Savannah over the course of 4 days, after three and a half weeks of knowing she had already passed away. It was heartbreaking and so very hard and painful to go through both physically and emotionally. I cried a lot then. And I cried today.. but not nearly as much. I know where she is and who she is with and what she is doing on the other side of the veil. That she is with her grandpa and great grandpas and grandmas and even uncles. I know she is with her brother Johnathan and sister Carolyne, that they together watch over my family. But in that sorrow I have great abounding joy and happiness too. On the anniversary of the day I found out that Savannah died, I brought home my sweet sweet surprise baby Brynleigh from the hospital and the pain that could have been was instead turned to celebrating. I'm so grateful to be given the wonderful joy and blessing of my sweet baby girl to hold near my heart tucked tightly in my arms. My Brynleigh has done wonders to help me through today and the other days this month associated with losing Savannah that could have been filled with deep sadness and tears but instead are now filled with incredible happiness. My Brynleigh has taken the brunt of the pain and sorrow away. Im still sad I lost Savannah and have shed a few tears today, but I'm so grateful a year later I get to snuggle my little Brynleigh close to me and remember with a softened thankful heart that I had my Savannah for a short whisper of time to love too. That my love is eternal. And I can still celebrate her brief life while I continue to find happiness, joy and celebrating in loving and cuddling her sister Brynleigh and in so doing feel that my Savannah is not so very far away after all...

My sweet baby Brynleigh at one week old. Oh how I love her!!!

Bringing My Brynleigh Home

I haven't blogged in a long long long time, but I feel this was more than worth breaking my silence and blogging about soo here is my short but sweet little....

A baby being born timeline

I didn't plan to have any more children, as a matter of fact I was looking forward to grandchildren and being a younger grandma. My oldest child being 23 years old and getting married later this year. I wasn't going to be "that" mom. At 45 years old and 7 living children and 3 miscarriages later the last thing I expected was to be a mommy again. But Heavenly Father had another plan and a tiny little girl was coming to join our family. And now I am so grateful for that unexpected blessing.

Feb 3 2014
I still have two weeks to go to my due date but I am hoping I won't have to wait that long. These contractions are not being very nice to me today. The baby is feisty as ever and she isn't too fond of these contractions either and keeps letting me know how she feels about them. I feel the same way... lol

Feb 4th
Well....we almost didn't make it to the hospital in time on Tuesday night but 8 minutes after arriving there my sweet tiny Brynleigh Rayanne was born at 6:58 pm. It is an experience I will never forget ...hoping I didn't have her in the car or outside the emergency room doors in the negative degree weather and in the snow or even in the hallway as the ER staff ran me a quarter mile to the elevators where my doctor was waiting just in case she came there. We barely got to a room and me on the bed and with two pushes she was here. And so at 6 lbs 11 oz and 19 1/4 in long Brynleigh came screaming (that part was me) into the world. She is beautiful with black hair and dark blue eyes and is the sweetest little baby. She even gets the privilege of sharing her birthday with her older sister Stephanie. I am just so grateful we made it in time however pain killers or even that epidural I planned on would have been even better but either way Im in love and so glad I get to hold her in my arms and snuggle her tight.Photo

 A picture of Brynleigh meeting her older brother Benjamin for the first time a day after she was born.. Love this picture

Feb 7th going home..
.So grateful for all the wonderful people who took care of me and Brynleigh while we were in the Hospital. They went above and beyond from making sure I had one of the few rooms with a jetted tub in it to soak in everyday I was there after Brynleigh's exciting delivery. And did everything in their power to keep me from having to have an IV after Brynleigh was born due to some slight complications of her coming so quickly.
The Hospital even provided a complimentary steak dinner with all the works including fluted glasses and Martinelli's for two to celebrate. In addition I had a complimentary back massage with essential oils that was desperately needed. And everyone make sure Brynleigh and I were taken extra special care of.
Even the lady who cleaned my room everyday took extra special care with everything and smiled the best smile and visited with me she made sure I had extra towels and she took special attention to my room each time she came even though she didnt have to.
She and all the nurses gave me hugs and smiles when I left. And my day nurse walked us out to the car so she could spend just a little more time with Brynleigh and as we did she showed her off to all the staff from doctors to security, to emt's and anyone she could on the way out. I couldn't have asked for nicer people to watch over me and take care of me while I was there.
I am very grateful for them for all they did even though yes it is their job they were all so very wonderful and went above what they had to do. They made the transition that much easier for me

Brynleigh facetiming with her older sister Danielle =0)

Photo: FaceTime with my new sister!! So glad I don't have to change those diapers  #baby #love #longdistance

Crazy how HUGE newborn clothes look to me right now... Even though they are so darn cute and seemed soooo tiny before she was born.! But Brynleigh is still wearing her little preemie onsies and diapers almost 2 weeks later. I love my tiny little sweet heart and don't want her to grow too fast. I am loving her tininess so so much!!

Photo: mdp 2013 one week old soo soo sweet!!
Photo: mdp 2013
Photo: mdp 2013and soo so tiny!! I love her I can hardly believe it's been almost a whole month since she has been snuggled and cuddled in my arms.. My sweet little surprise baby brynleigh. I am do glad you are here and part of our family.